17. september 2011

bad dreams

just woke up after barely 6 hours of sleep on a weekend night.

i remember bits of my dream in details. something with two boys close to me hurting me. & me suddenly having to survive, due to trespassing.

the pictures in my head were not horrible - but the feelings my brain decided to give me along with them... aw

i kinda feel like crying.
my stomach hurts like when you have boyfriend  troubles.
i feel extremely alone, because it is this early & it's like the world's still asleep.

this is not unusual for me. its rarely this bad, but it's always with feelings mixed in it.
- now do you see, why i dont like dreaming?

i know i have to think good thoughts now:
- today mom & i are going to drop my dad off at the airport in Ålborg and then going to Shoppen to do a little H&M shopping <3

- if i am bored at home today i can just go back to lan'ing with the boys at Sørens <3

- or go to Århus. that would be the best <3

i know for sure that i have to keep people my company all day today, otherwise my mood wont get better & another day in my life will be wasted.

it just also botheres me, that my brain loves endorphines, but still manages at night to get me sad. it's unfortunately not logical for me & its something i cant do anything about. sux!

now: trying to watch a movie. hmm, which one? Happy-Go-Lucky...

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